If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
