Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
