So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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