Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize