he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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