dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
