and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
