Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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