Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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