You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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