Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
