I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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