im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
