apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
