I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
