Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
