I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
