Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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