I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
