I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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