I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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