WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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