You're my little dorito
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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