she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
