What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
