just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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