dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
