We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
