I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my being single is dangerous.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
