I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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