can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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