fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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