This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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