i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
