I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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