Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
