He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
