we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
