If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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