If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
