people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
