Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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