I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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