He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
