In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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