Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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