so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
