im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
