Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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