Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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