When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
