Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My vagina is officially offended.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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