Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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