I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
