Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
