when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She announced her abortion via fbk
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
