my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
