did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
