Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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