Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
