so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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