I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
