why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
